How becoming the judge and jury of your own success is slowing you down
One of the things I noticed about making crucial decisions in life whether it be getting a new job, how to raise your family, what should I do after leaving school, or simply what should I wear out to dinner, is the notion of being judged.
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but the content of their character"
- Martin Luther King Jnr.
Why do we care what people think?
Our natural tendencies drift towards that part of our mind where we often hear phrases such as "do you think they will like it", or "what if they don't like it" or "what will people think of me" or “what if I fail?” are common thoughts that pop into or mind.
Now being a harsh critic on yourself verses allowing whatever people think of you are two completely different perspectives on oneself.
Simply asking yourself, “how do I look in this?” verses “what will people think if I wear this?”are slight variations, however the mind can take different outcomes on how you feel depending on which one you ask yourself.
Personally, at an early age I struggled with those thoughts of being judged.
"Personally at an early age I struggled with those thoughts of being judged"
Why? Because, I was the minority growing up in school, and there were times I really struggled with being different, and being judged by others for being different. But there was another part of me that also didn’t care what people thought. It was a strange mindset to be in, but somewhere along the line i stopped listening to the inner voice and outer voices that were pre-judging me.
Now I am not exactly sure how I managed to block out that thinking growing up, but what I do know is that by not allowing the majority that did judge me on my differences to take hold of my mind or my feelings I soon started out performing in all areas of life such as education, friends, sports and love.
My confidence grew and as a result and I started becoming obsessed with my own personal achievement and success.
Do I still judge myself and others today? The answer is yes, its natural to, however in a previous blog about responding and reacting to incidents I think the right thing to do is avoid it as much as possible in order to remove it from our characters. I will admit that it is extremely hard to do, but I think if we can reduce the self judgment and pre-judgement about ourselves we will in turn become better versions of ourselves.